Home Alone

 

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In my 20s, I lived with roommates. Eventually, I got my own apartment and lived alone for two years before moving in with my husband. It was a great experience. But something about living alone after being widowed felt lonely. Despite lots of friends and a busy social life, I still came home to ‘alone.’  Before I was married, living alone was about independence; after I was widowed, living alone felt more like being left alone.  Night lights and timers offered a sense of security; the constant companion of the TV and my new BFF, the DVR, kept the quiet from creeping in; new house projects ensured a cozy home. What do you do to fight feeling alone at home?

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Widowed Without Kids

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‘Do you have children?’

It’s typically the second question people who don’t know me well will ask when they hear I lost my husband.  ‘No,’ I say – and rush the rest – ‘but I have a wonderful family and lots of close friends.’  When I just say ‘No,’ a dense silence hangs in the air, the other person doesn’t know how to respond.  As a mourner, you become adept at making those who are trying to comfort you, comfortable.  In my situation, a widow without kids, it’s an essential skill. Have any of you experienced this?  How do you deal with it?